The JJW Blog

25 Things About Myself

1. I love being a Dad even though becoming one was one of the stupidest things I did in my whole life. And actually I don’t like it all that much, I just love Renee.

2. I am cursed with a godly heritage on both sides.

3. I think all the time I have spent at church was a waste of time. I really do. Except for the times I sat by lesbians at a Unitarian church who didn’t pretend they were not.

4. I have gotten more liberal as I age. I should of known when I noticed my dick curves left but I started off curving right.

5. I moved away from KC way too late and while I love my KC peeps, I’m glad I’m not rotting away there with all the fat fucks.

6. We are not interesting because we like Target, Toyotas, or Macs.

7. If you don’t back country ski in your spare time it’s not cool in my book that you are a manicurist or a yoga teacher.

8. I have never owned a home and I find the fact the TV is always on in your big-ass home revolting.

9. I once dated a guy. It turns out that like Richard Pryor I don’t have a taste for cock.

10. I am proof that some men think about sex every 4 seconds but at least one of my 5 sisters does as well so it applies to some women as well. You know who you are.

11. I enjoy extreme multi-hour endurance challenges. This does not make me special in Colorado and that is why I live here.

12. If you haven’t figured it out yet I am often very offensive. My friends could care less about this because they listen to Dan Savage and Bill Hicks, you know mature adults with something to say.

13. If I don’t have anything else to go on I will choose the smallest restaurant because I am afraid big restaurants have too much to worry about besides providing delicious healthy food.

14. I was inspired to write this by the worst and best of these I have read. So thanks for either really sucking or really doing a good job, I love clarity.

15. My big brother taught me how to chase women. The women in my life owe him one.

16. My daughter can listen to hip-hop with cursing and sing along. And this means I am doing something right as a parent.

17. I love hip-hop. I judge new people in my life by how they react to hip-hop songs and Chris Rock comedy sketches.

18. You could kick my ass. And I don’t give a shit. Because you, like militant people in America, Israel, Iran, Russia and everywhere else are an ignorant douche-bag. Do you want to have a cup of tea and talk about it?

19. I don’t like, I love dirt-bag spa chicks who get up at 3am to go be on a cold rock in the mountains. You know who you are.

20. I believe strongly in being raised right, whether its 2 dads, 5 step-parents, a mom and dad in the suburbs or whatever. I like people who were raised right, they seem to be better people.

21. I have learned that we all are responsible for each other. Michael Moore is right.

22. I probably like you for some reason and perhaps I shouldn’t. It’s a weakness.

23. I was chased by a bear while riding my bike this summer. I will have to mention this in every 25 things list I ever write.

24. I once taped a private conversation between Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich and had the tape confiscated. I tend to get myself in funny situations.

25. I am going to get in big trouble for some of these from my sisters. Sorry Allyson, Annye, Alyvia, Audra, and Aryn. I love you.