Douchebags
Yesterday I sat through a douche bag Christian worship service because I am falling a bit in love with a new girl in my life and I wanted her to see what a real man looked like against the douchebags at her church (and as a bit of a douchebag myself, I just wanted to sit by her). So I brought a book on the hard-core Rocky Mountains alpine (my friend Matt once endured a similar service with a Woody Allen book who is as dear to him as the Rocky Mountains are to me) and endured the god-awful service which included men rubbing each other’s backs at pressure points as they prayed for each other. Instead of drinking hard liquor I will now cleanse myself with a short fuck you to my religious douche-bag list.
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- All the pastors and musicians at Christian cool churches named things like “The Leavening” - Fuck you for making breathy, stifling, and chafing music and creating women who equally squash and chafe your penis because their unshaven pussies have no experience because they are too busy douching you instead of being real independent sexually active women.
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- Muslim TV “moderate” stars and anybody else who teach women to kiss but not have sex and all the other douchebaggery teachings that is infiltrating Islam like it long has Christianity. Yes this is better than extreme Islam, far better but that is only because extreme Muslims blow up buildings, which is one of the few things in the world that is far worse than douchebaggery.
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- Rick Warren - you are the granddaddy douche of them all, you fucker. You claim you want to fuck every women you see but won’t let people who are genetically disposed to fucking the same sex enjoy a healthy marriage and family. And then you create little douchebags who go around arguing that sexuality and race are different and don’t require the same basic family rights. And now you have been asked to invoke your made-up douche bag god’s blessing on this increasingly douche-bag country.
